Wednesday 29 August 2012

THE NAKED TRUTH

Alright ladies, it's time to speak frankly about waxing. Today as I was driving to the salon, anxiety mounting about my impending date with a pot of hot wax, I started to seriously consider the naked truth about waxing. As a devoted waxee for years now, I repeatedly put myself through significant pain ... ahem... down there... for a smooth, hair free bikini line. While some would call me crazy, I'm about to explain how to take the 'scary' out of waxing!

I've heard all sorts of philosophical explanations for why some women chose to go bare down there, but, quite frankly, I like the way that it looks. I don't do it because it's trendy and I certainly don't do it for boys; it's purely aesthetic. Maybe I'm part seal, but whatever the reason, there are some things that I wish I'd been told before my first wax. So, in the pursuit of clearing the air around waxing, I will reveal the naked truth (pun intended). Here's what you need to know before taking the plunge...
1. It hurts. There's no getting around the fact that waxing your... erm... parts... is not pleasant. But it's also not as scary as everyone makes it out to be. Just like with tweezing or threading or laser hair removal, the more you do it, the thinner your hair grows back and the less painful it becomes. It's also quite quick (think 15-30 min), so the pain is short-lived. It's a good thing to keep in mind that some areas are more sensitive than others. For instance, right below your pelvic bone is particularly ouchy, while the bottoms of your cheeks barely hurt. So just when you feel like it might be too painful, the esthetician will move on and it'll be over.

2. About your hair. There are a couple of steps that you should take before you go to the salon. Firstly, the hair needs to be about 1/4" to 1/2" long in order for the wax to stick properly. Too short and it won't work, too long and it will pull more than it should. Secondly, the type of hair that you have matters. Thick hair pulls more (read: hurts more) and usually needs to be a bit longer, but it won't leave you with residual darkness/stubble like shaving will. You'll also want to have a shower and make sure that everything is neat and tidy for the esthetician.

3. How it's done. Every salon and esthetician has a slightly different method, but there are certain steps that are more or less adhered to. First things first, you'll be asked to hop up onto the table and remove your bottoms (I like to wear dresses so that I can just slip my panties off without struggling with buttons or zippers). Next, your hair will be inspected (inspected is too harsh a word...maybe looked over?) to see which way it grows and to verify that it's the right length. Don't worry if she pulls out the scissors - she's just trimming it to the most effective length. Next, the esthetician will usually dust some baby powder over your lady parts. This helps absorb moisture and keeps the wax from sticking to your skin. Then the waxing begins. A good waxer will move quickly and in little sections, for maximum hair removal and minimal pain. If it's too painful, ask her to do smaller sections. Remember - the quicker she goes, the quicker it'll be over. Last but not least, the esthetician will pluck any strays before applying a soothing oil or lotion. This will also take away any leftover stickiness. Then you're all done :)

4. It's gonna get fresh. Don't be embarrassed about your body during a bikini/brazilian wax. Your esthetician is a professional and, quite frankly, she's seen it all. Be prepared to get up close and personal with her. She's going to have to move things around, hold things apart and get a closer look at all sorts of things. Yes, she'll wax your treasure trail. Yes, she'll wax in all the nooks and crannies. And yes. She'll wax your bum crack. Don't be shy. It's her job and, unless it makes you uncomfortable, you might as well get everything taken care of while she's down there ;)

5. Don't forget to tip. At most salons, it's appropriate to tip your esthetician. In this case, it's mandatory. Not mandatory in the you-have-to-do-it-because-it's-the-law sense, but more in the you-have-to-do-it-because-she-controls-the-hot-wax-near-your-kooka sense. Tip her often and tip her well. You don't want an angry lady near your bits.
1. Be specific. Tell your esthetician exactly what you want before you start. There are so many types of bikini/brazilian waxes that you need to let her know which kind you want. Do you want everything gone? A landing strip? What shape? Is there anywhere you don't want her to go? Are there any lotions that you're allergic to? Don't be shy to have a chat with your waxer and ask any questions that you might have. The first time that I got one, I pelted the esthetician (Patricia) with questions and she walked me through it step by step. In the end, you should feel comfortable at the salon. Waxes don't have to be scary!

2. Pop a Tylenol an hour ahead of time. Although the pain is inevitable, there are certain things that you can do to significantly reduce the ouch factor. An hour or so before you hit your appointment, pop a Tylenol. This will help numb the pain and make the wax less unpleasant.

3. Time your visit. The best time to get a wax is a week after your period. Since your body is more sensitive (especially in that general region) during your period and while you ovulate, it makes a waxing appointment more painful than it needs to be.

4. Take a look. Just like when you get a hair cut or a manicure, the esthetician will ask you if your wax looks okay once she's done. While the thought of holding a mirror up to your naughty bits might make you cringe like Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes, take a deep breath and take a peek. Does it look the way you expected? Did she miss anything? Making sure that it's A-OK before you leave will ensure that the pain is worth the gain.

5. Wear something easy. I would not recommend wearing tight pants/tights to a waxing appointment. Especially your first waxing appointment. Since the area will be a little sore (and probably a little red too, so don't panic) after the fact, you'll want to wear something that's easy to get in and out of. I prefer dresses, but a good pair of comfy jeans will do too :)

6. Ask her name. Don't forget to ask your esthetician her name. Not only is it common courtesy (and you don't want to upset someone holding a steaming pot of hot wax near your knickers), you'll also want to remember it for next time. When you call the salon for your next appointment, you can specifically request the same (or heaven-forbid a different) esthetician so that you don't have to get nakie in front of another person.

I hope that this little tutorial helps take the sting out of waxing. Remember - a bikini/brazilian wax doesn't have to be scary!

Talk soon,
Vi

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